do you ever see a person you used to be friends with and you’re like “glad i got the fuck outta that one”
i hate it when you’re walking along and you suddenly become really self-conscious about the way you are walking so you concentrate on walking normally and just end up like
Two chemists walk into a bar.
One of them asks for H2O. The other asks for H2O2 and giggles.
The bartender serves them both hydrogen peroxide because he’s fucking tired of chemists walking into his bar and trying that joke.
I want to have a marriage like this holy shit
I’m scared no one will love me.
I’m scared someone will love and then see me sad or angry or naked or tired and then stop.